"Parr for the Course" Another warm Essex welcome was extended to the B14 travellers last weekend.

Three hot teams arrived with bated breath. If there are going to be only three teams, you better make sure their kites coordinate and they did - beautifully!! Two teams fresh from the hotbed of the Plerin European Championships and one team from deep summer training in the Southern Hemisphere. The Barrier Reef can be pretty testing place for endurance skiff "reps".

Team 1: Al & Bazza in GBR766 HBR Consulting, (Rippling muscle and hair products)

Team 2: Nikki & Simon in GBR770 Harken (with all the best sailing hardware and a faithful guard dog to look after the investments)

& for once turning up before anyone else,

Team 3: Geraldino Fermor-Brown (no, don't laugh) and Leaky in GBR786 TORQ. (That's a fitness product available on the internet. Most of it being legal).

As there was only three B14s and not enough class flags, the RC decided that we were to join in to share the starts with the 29er ah-hum, budding youngsters. (H*tler-yoof). A very short start line but luckily the 29ers like to gaggle around the Mother Boat till 10 seconds to go (or maybe we didn't spot the starboard bias??) which left us to dabble with port fliers. (Why? I'm not sure. Nobody reads them and they just end up in the recycling bin).

However, there were two WW marks and we, believe it or not, had to sail to the further mark. Dunno why, but that's how life is sometimes. The wind was medium, both on the rack weather, getting lighter during the day. With just three of us, the four races that were run on Saturday where made entertaining with the loose gaggle of 29ers, a building current, (getting increasingly stupid during the afternoon), a WW mark stuffed just under the Pier and our own tight pacing made it like a mini Euro's all over again!

Sunday, the Sun didn't turn up much, but the wind did come in more. The 29er kids were so funny to watch, (see Youtube videos from the Thorpe Bay SC webbersite, if you can be bothered). More of the same fun was had. Fast, nail-biting, sweary stuff aplenty. What can we add? "You don't know 'coz you weren't there Mannn!"? .....Blah, blah....

Probably the short version of the sailing was that all three of us lead races. So at some point, we all felt EPIC! So six races were had in all. Nobody died and nobody got married. Murphy got the day out and the whole weekend really revolved around the keenly awaited round of Crazy Golf on Southend Seafront, right across the road from the Infamous Dave Hayes Chippy. (It still serves, Dave, should you ever need it again). Further highlights included experimenting with local buses (and yes leaky they cost more than a sixpence), a hearty meal at the club, a disco followed although its lights were a bit bright and the local beer of Autumn Gold from the Crouch just round the corner. Free accommodation with seafront camping is one of those 'money can't buy' privileges and really nails Thorpe Bay as a great venue.

See the scorecard. Different from the sailing results, you'll see numbers and colours and various computations added by Prof' Storer, that actually mean important things in the very lucrative sport of Golf.

Many techniques and mind-game were to be employed. Barry found his "touch" game a little too "bedroom" by this we mean that he was "whacking it all around the place" in a vain attempt to get something in a hole. Prof' Storer showed that he was a stickler for the Rules, and just a teensy-weensy bit Pre-Maddona competitive when he hit a purple-patch on the back nine. Geraldino F-B started very well, but her putting game was to fall apart as she had trouble keeping her knees together, mid-stroke. Pretty soon, the rule was that if the ball bounced all the way back past the tee from where, (Barry), it had been struck, you would incur a penalty stroke. (Nasty). (Should have brought the Brennivin bottle!) So, some of the max scores on each hole were reached with such alarming speed, I swear light was being bent.

Anyhow, here's how the "Chocolates" were doled out.

Thanks Essex Friends and let's try harder not to swear in front of the children. And that's what matters, eh?

Bye,

El Leaks